BOOZED UP

 

Most of us will have enjoyed a few drinks (bottles) over the Christmas period. Getting all merry and what not. Now Christmas is over and ‘Dry January’ has begun. This is where you are supposed to stop drinking alcohol to save money, increase good health and possibly donate the money you do save to Alcohol Change UK. I felt like I didn’t really drink over the Christmas period, but when I think of it I got drunk Christmas Eve and New Years eve and enjoyed a few glasses a night in-between these events. Working two jobs means I never have the chance to drink and I received a whopping 12 bottles of wine/bubbles and a couple bottles of spirits from colleagues, families and friends so it does need consuming. I never get STEAMING anymore and I am glad I don’t. I feel utter crap for getting wasted.

I actually fear getting drunk now. I used to be reckless. I would just come out and say the rudest stuff  to people, bombard people with messages and when I say people I mean ex baes.. I would dance like a loon and ruin my life basically. I would start arguments with bae, come home and wake him up and then fall asleep as soon as he was awake. Unintentional I was just needy and tired. One thing I do miss is all the friends I would make in the bathroom and smokers area, bigging each other up and planning nights out and holidays.

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It is actually mortifying waking up and remembering all the conversations you had with all these strangers. Crying to one another about things that happened years ago and telling a girl you don’t know to dump that trash ass boy that again, you do not know.

No matter what I drink, how much I consume or where I am, I WILL PUKE! That is what I do and I cannot prevent this no matter how many times I try. No amount of food, water or pacing the alcohol will change it. I am a puker. I will be sick the once but I won’t go home. I will stay and get even more drunk. I guess it’s an accidental tactical chunder.

Black outs. These are the worst nights ever. Where you wake up, room is spinning, mouth is dry, you feel sick, then you think about the night before and you can’t remember a single thing?!?!

“Shit I feel even more sick now.”

You lunge for your phone, (after panicking incase you lost it because it’s not in your bag), check all forms of social media and messages and you cringe!! The snapchats of you are just horrendous, swaying and miming a song you don’t even know the lyrics too, thinking you are super cool and sexy at the same time. No babes you look like a trollop. DELETE. DELETE. DELETE. You can’t even cope with spending 35 minutes watching every single one so you just erase the evidence before it’s too late.

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It is too late. You have so many replies and texts off people asking what happened, where did you go and sending laughing emojis. FYI they aren’t laughing with you just @ you. Embarrassing!!! You check your friends snapchats and they further humiliate you by posting videos of you white girl twerking and stumbling on the dance floor.

I woke up once to a snapchat of me eating a tea light once back in 2016??? I mean I wish I could explain but I have no idea what I did that for? Was I dared? Was I trying to be funny? I mean 2016 was a blurry year for me. I was drunk a lot of it. I was young and in uni what do you expect? Probably not to see someone eating a tea light on snapchat though…

One night I went out expecting to have a casual drink. You know where I am heading with this don’t you? Just a cheeky drink down the local with good pals having good times. I don’t know how (well I do know how) but I got the drunkest I had ever been. My friends and I decided to WALK home. WALK!! My hometown is far from flat. It is hill after hill. I couldn’t even walk? Theres a video of me falling into someones drive ffs! I had literally stopped speaking to a guy a couple days before and shock he text me late on. I decided to rant to the group I was with, next thing you know, one of the boys decides to grab my phone and start messaging him pretending to be my boyfriend? Like this is how drunk we all were because quite clearly I didn’t get a boyfriend in 2 days and these are all local boys who know one another? Nothing made sense.

Do you want to know how much money I spent that night?? £2.99. That is it. Because some idiot friend of mine decided to buy rounds of brandy and cokes. I can”t even handle my watered down Wetherspoons pitchers, never mind a double brandy and coke??? My friend who was buying me the drinks and who is never sick, I repeat NEVER, was sick! That is karma. You get me drunk and karma hits you in the stomach. Least I wasnt the only mess.

I have videos of my friends slutdropping on a lamp post, carrying cones on their heads, weeing in public and doing all sorts of stuff that cannot be said. Maybe I need new friends? Ones that don’t lead me to embarrassment. To be fair this was 2/3 years ago. Like I said, I rarely drink anymore.

A good karaoke night is always a laugh. My mate and I decided to sing ‘Love machine’ in the local and my other friend was sober so she stepped aside for this one to let us have the limelight. We were out of time and out of breath. I was laughing too much especially when my other friend was in the crowd screaming “OMG One Direction I love youuuuuuu” How is one to concentrate and not laugh?

I think house gatherings are probably my favourite type of getting drunk. You don’t need to dress up too much, you don’t need to wear heels and you don’t need to worry about how you are going to get home mangled, because you can just crash or someone is guaranteed to get you home. I remember one gathering I went to with a friend and she got soooo drunk. We were playing ‘never have I ever’ and she decided to drink for every single one. You can imagine how the boys were reacting to this… She then fell through the back door clinging on to the curtains and the mum of the house was screaming at her telling her to get out her house. Time to escape. I was gathering our things and sorting a lift and she somehow managed to find her way to the front of the house, collapsed on the floor crying. Another girl was trying to scoop her up like a baby and it was just a sight and a half. It took a few of the boys to get in the car where she just sprawled out on the backseat mumbling. Finally got her to mine where she fell asleep with her head in a bucket. I was impressed because that is normally me. She got us kicked out of the party an hour in, that must be a record? I swear I didn’t even finish my first drink!

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Me trying to control my friend. Could also be my friend trying to control me

I hate clubs I really do. I am glad I prefer a social drink or a formal night out for cocktails. However, I do hope this year brings good nights out that I can remember and don’t embarrass myself. I do need to finish off those bottles I have been given though…

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