After my last breakup I told myself to not get into a relationship until my psycho ways had officially buzzed off. I went from one relationship to another where both had similar circumstances and I just carried my psycho traits to the next and last relationship I had.
I needed a break from a serious connection with men, as cliché as this sounds, to find myself. I was single for over a year which is the longest I had ever been single for in like 5 years. I know mental. But I did enjoy the time off. I’m was so much more chilled out and my future goals were a lot clearer and I had set them in place.
I am now in a happy relationship but how did I know I was ready for one you ask? (No one actually asked but I am going to unravel all to you anyway). The most obvious thing is that when you know yourself then you will just know.
- Trust.I have always struggled with trust (as previous posts have explained) and I found myself caring less about where boys were and who with blah blah. I started believing people more when I asked them a question and still do. It is hard when you have spent your whole life being lied to and tricked. You have to start over with trust and understanding that not everyone is the same. Then again, you should never trust a soul. It is all about acting like you trust somebody, but don’t. So how is trust ever going to be seen as a positive in my life?
- I spent my year off men being friends with them. I have always had close boy mates. Them being part of the reason why I didn’t really trust cause they are little fuckboys but I am a hypocrite because I will support them and wingwoman them (shame on me). Plus, I can see how boys operate which has its downfalls and advantages.
- What was stopping me? I had my uni work on track, wasn’t too busy for one, timing was just right.
- I was able to be myself and that is so important when figuring out if things could develop further.
- I found the right one.
It does just kind of happen. You cannot plan it. I didn’t plan mine nor did I even want one at the time. I was happy as I was but was even happier when I met bae.
- Making sure you are sooo over that ex of yours. Hell yeah you don’t deserve to be treated like that girl. Be happy and enjoy single life.
- Don’t go looking for love. You will be highly disappointed.
- You are not completely ok with being single yet. So first you need to be ok and completely happy being single before you get wifed up.
- You don’t know if it is a boyfriend you want or just attention and cuddles. A relationship is more emotional and about good communication not just the little physical parts all relationships have.
- Your mindset is clear. You have your goals and priorities in order.
- NO WINTER RELATIONSHIPS.
- Making sure your past is your past. No dwelling on what pain your previous relationship caused you whilst in a new relationship. It just will not work. Leave enough space between the relationships to have a fresh mind.
Take your time. Do not rush anything just because you feel you should be in a certain position at this current time in your life. Every one is different so just go with the flow. Xoxo