Being a woman is a lot harder than most think. I’m not being sexist. I do not know how to be a man. I only know womanhood. Yes, this is going to include some info about feminism. No, not the radicalised type. Would I say I am a feminist? Yes but I do not go too deep into it all.
Women who claim they are not a feminist need to take a step back and think ‘Do I believe women and men should be equal?’ If you said yes to that question, then you are a feminist.
Some women often refuse to identify themselves with the word ‘feminism’ because of the negative connotations radical feminists have brought to the word over the years. It has become a dirty word and women fear the backlash the word might bring. It’s a shame because being a feminist is all about the quest for the equality of sexes. If you believe in the strength of the woman then congratulations, you have been soaking in feminism.
Men are not the enemy.
The man is the enemy but he is not the men. The man is the shadow above us that tries to keep us all down reminding us of the patriarchy in this world which is oppressive to women. Men are the guys we know who are nice and can get close to. There is a strong difference.
People associate feminism with hating men when actually feminism supports men as much as it supports women. Sexism and patriarchy have not just made females lives harder but it has also made males lives harder. Men have to deal with the backlash from us women when we moan about a ‘kitchen’ joke they just made, when they have to deal with us whining about not getting a job because they are a woman. You guys do get a lot of the shit.
Some radical feminists refuse to wear heels because they ‘were invented to make a woman’s ass and legs more appealing to men.’ Shut up you old bat, they were actually invented for men which women stole the idea from. I wear heels because they make me feel sexy and look smashing with the new outfit I bought. I like feeling good about myself, I’m not looking for a male companion so I can safely say I am not dressing sexy for you guys! Some guys do love a girl in heels but some of us girls like men in certain clothing too. It’s called sexual attraction not being sexist.
A Mule in school
Girls growing into women is a confusing time, just as it is for boys turning into men. I really found it tough. I didn’t know what to wear, how to do my hair and make-up or how to act without seeming ‘childish.’ I would see girls admiring those glamorous females in the magazines and on the TV and doing as much as they could to get similar looks. I felt like if I did that I would be laughed at and if I didn’t I would be laughed at. In school, I wasn’t ‘beautiful’ or had the boys chasing after me. In school I preferred being recognised for my talents and not my looks. At first, I admit that I did want to be called beautiful by my peers, but I realised that education was more important and there was nothing I could do about my spotty teenage face anyway so I had just allowed my ugly self. I did not know this then but that was me enjoying the true aspects of what a woman is. I did not want to live up to the high expectations of a sexy female then. As I got older of course I wanted to be gorgeous and I still do, but that did not mean I wanted to throw my talents away. I mean look at me now, I write these blogs and I receive great responses. Writing has always been my talent but I wanted to pursue new things such as Psychology at uni where I hope it can lead me to making a difference.
I always believed that your school years were the years you truly realised who you were. That’s what they say anyway. It’s not to be honest. I have only just realised who I am and I am nearly 20.
“Hello and welcome to the itty bitty titty committee Savannah.” Yes I have no boobs and I have always known that. One thing that used to piss me the fuck off was when other people used to pick up on it and have to say it aloud in front of everybody. Why? I live in this body every day, I see what my body looks like. I have however, become more accepting of my 7-year-old boys chest and can laugh it off and joke about having 2 breakfast items stuck to my chest. I have learnt that boobs are not everything which at one point I thought they were because that is what I thought the opposite sex liked. How wrong was I. Some guys prefer ass over boobs. I like my chunky monkey of an ass and if a guy loves it too then fine. Let a guy love your body but guys there are boundaries to this because we are more than just a silhouette. I like my knobbly knees and my belly that is toned but to the point it still wobbles about. Love your body. Yes you will hate it on days because it isn’t looking how you want it to be because you just enjoyed that all you can eat chinese. Your body is constantly changing and you can’t moan because you are bloated for a day. It will deflate, just be proud you managed to eat 5 full plates of naughty goodness. Even if you hate your body, you are the only person who can change it around so you love it.
Sharpen your claws
Bitches are not going anywhere. It is weirdly all part of society. It is what we all do. Guys are just as bad for bitching about one another. I can be a bitch yes. I like to slag off those people who ever did me wrong. I am still a nice person though. Bitching won’t ever stop. As I have gotten older (making out I’m like 40 or something) I have realised that bitchy comments are something I just have to deal with and accept or I be a bitch 10 times worse back. (I have no chill sometimes). This is not me saying that I accept bullying because there is a difference. If you want to be a bit bitchy now and then, then keep it between you and your pals or confront the person if it is really relevant and necessary. Everyone bitches and to be a woman doesn’t mean not slagging people off nor does it mean to be a bitch. The world is a nasty place, you just got to be prepared for the mighty backlash from people when you kill it. It’s sadly, mainly jealousy. They can’t handle someone else doing well so they have to put them down. I don’t understand it, just move along from what you have seen without dishing out the negativity. I get excited when my friends slay and they know they are slaying. Being a woman means you are able to notice a fine ass lady, a smart woman who you can compliment and raise her confidence. There is no point being a bitter hag 24/7 because that is not what women do. Bitching is sadly just a part of life but it happens when people don’t like each other.
Marriage is garbage to me.
I never want to marry. I honestly do not see the point in the celebration. This does not make me any less of a woman. I can still be independent and happy. In any sense it actually makes me a more determined woman, to show that I don’t need men to make me successful. Anniversaries are there to celebrate the love and I do not need the marriage certificate and £20,000 debt to have an anniversary. All that’s needed is love and commitment for a relationship to work to get those yearly anniversaries. Then again I have been hurt so much that I think everything comes to a bitter end eventually. Everyone has different views on marriage and that is fair enough. I have never had a ‘dream wedding’ built up in my head. I have always wanted children and my own place but it’s weird because I have never pictured the type of guy I would do this with. I am a solo girl. I do things my way and never let people’s opinions stop me.
No marriage will make a child’s life better. Only stable relationships do this. I grew up with a nuclear family.‘The perfect and ideal family.’ Wrong. My parents were married but it was no stable relationship. The lack of trust between them bounced onto me and now I struggle trusting anyone, even my own friends. Their marriage made my life hell. Since their split which happened a year ago, I have finally found myself and have become a better person even if it did take so long. I have a better relationship with my mum now and this could have been encouraged years ago if my parents had just walked away. The costs of leaving is what stopped them and my mum was scared to say she was going to be going through a divorce. Well sod the public mum! Be proud of that name because you walked away a stronger woman. You didn’t stay because you ‘felt it was right’ or because it made you and the kids happy. Being divorced means you have been able to show how a woman can go from having the help from a man to doing everything by yourself.
To me being a woman is as important as it is for a man to be a man. Womanhood is special and with female empowerment good changes are happening which makes everyone’s’ lives easier.
Equality is key to a happy world not just between genders, but races and religions.
(These are of course my own thoughts and experiences as always which encouraged this blog.)