How to…SPOT A FUCKBOY

Ever wondered if the boy you’re crushing on is a fuckboy? I get it. It’s hard to know which boys are for real and which ones are just down to fuck. If you are after something serious and want to avoid the pig-headed boys then look no further.

This isn’t me slating boys because I know girls can just be as fuckish as men but hey I’m on the girl’s side of course. This is just me helping girls who don’t want to be left emotionally damaged because a boy isn’t ready for a relationship. It is ok if they aren’t ready for serious stuff but guys could go a little easy by not leading girls on into thinking it will go somewhere.

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I don’t really get caught up with fuckboys. Yeah I have been involved with fuckboys but I have never been caught up enough for them to hurt me. I always go in to something new with an open mind rather than looking for potential boyfriend material in the guy. I can tell a fuckboy from a one-woman man quite instantly. It takes me a good few months to realise I like a guy anyway so even if I wasn’t to notice, no fuckboy hangs about for that long.

Every one has this stereotypical view that a fuckboy is the kind to ask a girl over for ‘Netflix and chill.’ That’s dead. Fuckboys have found new methods of approaching their prey. Their tactics are becoming more and more difficult to swerve. Fuckboys are not those guys that sleep about. The words slut and man whore define those that jump beds. Fuckboys.. they mess with girls emotions and essentially fuck them over. They hook you on and then they desert you. Fuckboys essentially have no heart.

Lets just state the obvious types of fuckboys.

  1. Transportation Fuckboy. The boys who drive those shitty modified sports cars. You know the ones with spoilers and tinted windows and just look chavvy as fuck. He will definitely ask you if you want to ‘go for a drive.’ The destination will usually be McDonald’s or some where scenic for a spliff.
  2. Grab Your Ass at the Club Fuckboy. These are the creeps that follow you around the club, don’t say anything to you but think it is acceptable to grab your ass and try to grind on you to a crap remix of an old Chris Brown hit. Go home please, you are not even drunk, just a massive pest.
  3. The Taken Whenever he likes FuckBoy. Okay so these are the worst of this species. He has a girlfriend but is known for cheating and liking other girls pictures constantly. He picks and chooses when he wants to be single and his target believes he broke up with his misses causing her to get the most shit when it all comes out and he manages to escape the wrath of his girlfriend. Poor girl.
  4. Fitness Fuckboy. This guy has a high success rate when it comes to mating. He knows his body is banging and is forever uploading pictures of it. Usually at the gym in a mirror wearing a small vest and shorts holding a shake bottle. With a body like that why should they hang about with 1 girl?
  5. Shit Style, Too Cocky for Their Boots, Fuckboy. These boys have too much gel in their spiked up hair, diamond earrings, wear tacky polo tops, elasticated chinos and wear old school vans on their feet. They basically look like they are about to attend a 2004 McFly concert. They blast all over social media about how they scored a bang the night before when in reality they just snuggled in bed because she found him an absolute creep.

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Now you know more of their appearance, lets move on to behavioural characteristics…

  1. Date and mate or Fuck and chuck? This one is a big one. Fuck and chuck is what their goal is. There are many ways fuckboys approach this method. Dates are something fuckboys will never do. I have come across many guys who speak to you for less than an hour and BOOM, you have an invite to go round to his. The inevitable will happen at his face it. Another approach is that they speak to you for a while, you meet up, sleep with one another a few times and he just stops speaking to you. A guy who wants a relationship will take you out or at least make some effort and not make it all about sex. Unless that’s what you want as well then go for it.
  2. Bare all. He has asked for nudes. Oh lord he’s asked. He wants to see your bare body. What do you do? Say no. He doesn’t deserve them. Do not let him pressure you into sending things you don’t want him to have. You can’t trust him. Not because he is a fuckboy, well yes because he is a fuckboy, but you haven’t built up a strong foundation with him. Who knows who he will show it too. If he guilt’s you into it then he is a fuckboy.
  3. Lack of Transparency. If you are after love, then he should be clear with his intentions because this shows respect. It doesn’t matter the level or relationship he intends to have with you, you should be in the know. Whether it be a friend, friend with benefits, gf&bf or just date, he should always let you know! You of course have to let him know too else the fuckboy thinks you are one the same wave lengths. Do not let him play games!
  4. No Paps Please. PDA is something *couples* (used lightly)  do when they don’t mind people seeing them show slight affection for one another publicly. Holding hands, little peck on the cheek is all okay. If he initiates it then even better. Fuckboys don’t want to be in public and do not want to take selfies. Chances are he is probably doing the same with another girl. If you want to do all this and he is reluctant then you guys probably have very different views of your relationship.
  5. Female Friends. This can be a tricky situation. He will have female friends, nothing wrong with that. Until he starts claiming every girl he speaks to is just a ‘friend’ when really he has already slept with them or is currently still sleeping with them. It happens, it’s happened to me before. I never said anything because I knew the type of guy he was and it was nothing ever serious. Girls who do think it is serious will mention it and he will think he has done nothing wrong because he sees the relationship as some fun.
  6. 10 Second Snapchat. His preferred and only way of communicating with you is snapchat. Oh how romantic. This is so you can’t screenshot your messages, easy way of accessing nudes and it last 10 seconds or less so you can’t have long detailed conversations. Smart right.
  7. InstaMeme. I see SO many fuckboys post those memes on instagram about fucking girls with those dirty quotes about anal and how they have a strong pull out game. These guys are the obvious fuckboys!!! Messing with these guys is like playing with fire! You only gonna get burned. Well, banged.
  8. Parental Guidance. He will never let you meet his parents nor will he ever want to meet yours. The only way you will get him to have dinner with your folks is if you sedate him and drag him over by his shit quiff. He knows your parents won’t like him and will steer you away. The boy just wants to bang and run, not have talks about his future with you to your parents.

These are the obvious ones. Of course fuckboys have other behavioural characteristics to them which make them a fuckboy but that is just being nitty-gritty and I don’t want to come across as a penis hating bitch.

Boys remember:

It’s okay to not want a relationship but let her know that from the start so you don’t have to moan that she’s turned into a nutjob.

Else you are in trouble..

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Girls remember: 

Find out what he wants first before you get ahead of yourself.

Don’t do wifey shit for a fuckboy.

Else you are also in trouble…

(Please note: not all boys who look like the descriptions or do these things are fuckboys. They could be genuine. This guide is just what most girls believe makes a fuckboy (if you find more than 3 big fuckboy characteristics in them…they are a fuckboy). Remember girls can do the same to boys as well! 

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