How to…BE A SLUT

I know what you’re thinking. ‘Why is she encouraging girls to be sluts?’ Before you all jump to conclusions, let me set you straight. This is a post that aims to explore how slut-shaming has negative effects and that people really are not educated well enough in the subject of feminism. The title is nothing but a contradicting statement showing ways girls become ‘sluts’ when actually they are not, so please calm down.

I asked a few men how they would define a slut. The main response from this was that ‘a slut is someone who has slept with lots of men.’ Then going on to say ‘a slut is someone who has slept with more than 15 men.’ This baffled me because it was too much of a broad definition. Okay so a 54-year-old has slept with 15 men in her lifetime so she is a slut? Hmm.. interesting. No one seemed to know 100% what a slut was. Let me explain.

Definition of a slut: 

noun

derogatory

 

1. A woman who has many casual sexual partners in a short period of time.
synonyms:
promiscuous woman, whore, prostitute, slag, tramp, hooker, etc.

 

What even constitutes promiscuity in our era of ever-dissolving sexual prohibitions? Casual sex hasn’t been a taboo for a long time. Yet, the designation of “slut” lingers on as something we’re still permitted to call women who don’t have sex the way we think they should.

 

 So how to be a slut you ask? It’s simple. Don’t be a slut, because chances are people already think you are a slut. You could be a virgin and still get called a slut. It is just ridiculous. Thanks to certain people I am probably considered a slut.

 

slut.gif

 

The world we live in is full of people who are quick to judge. You don’t know me but I’m ‘annoying.’ You don’t know me but I’m a ‘slut.’ Let me tell you something, yeah I may be annoying at times but I am far from a slut. I know many girls who go around sleeping with a large sum of boys in a week and I have never come that close to doing that.

 

I remember after the breakdown of my first relationship, I gained the nickname ‘Slutty Sav.’ No, not because I cheated or was a slut but because my ex could not face the fact I broke up with him for being controlling. So he spread that I broke up with him to sleep around. At first it hurt because people started to believe it but after a few weeks of torturing myself I thought ‘fuck it.’ My friends and I all know I am not a slut. A slut for only sleeping with him. A slut for not wanting to be in a controlling relationship. Deplorable. In the end I just laughed it off and let irrelevant people believe what they wanted. All that mattered was that my close ones had my back.

 

This is defined as
Slut Shaming.
This is the act of publicly attacking a female for being sexual in or out of a relationship, acknowledging or acting on sexual feelings, anything that violates traditional expectations for sexual behaviours, dressing in a sexual way or even shaming women who are rumoured to be a slut.

 

slut-shaming

 

 I could sit and call my self a slut and be fine with it or be called it by my friend in a jokey way. This I find acceptable but as soon as someone who doesn’t know me well calls me it in a pessimistic way, I will flip. You might argue that me calling myself a slut makes it more acceptable for others to call me a slut. Wrong. Young black people use the n-word towards themselves and other black friends, mostly in a light-hearted way. But white people know that this is an offensive word and shouldn’t use it, because this is racism. Calling me a slut is slut shaming. Don’t do it. Women’s sex lives and sexuality are matters of their own choice, making it nobody elses business.

 

87483-mind-your-own-business-kim-zol-RmZA.gif

So sod off.

 

 Women often get called out by their appearance (usually by men but sometimes women) in order to control women. In this day and age, is dressing like a slut really a thing? I mean, what even is a slutty outfit?

 

Oh she has her legs out. Slut.

 

Her cleavage is visible. Slut.

 

She is sticking her bum out. Slut.

 

Wearing tight clothes isn’t slutty. Showing some skin is not slutty. Men can show as much skin as they like but women cannot yet people think that we live in an equal society. So deluded. I understand that some outfits women choose to wear can be tasteless, cheap and tacky but it doesn’t make her a slut now does it. If you think it does then please read the definition of a slut again you dumb fuck.
85d211df6886bde485c426515a7e7515

 

 I don’t really like the fact I am about to mention her as she is an obvious one and the whole family is overrated but I respect her choices…Kim Kardashian was branded a slut 9 years ago when a sex tape was leaked. She was having sex with her boyfriend for christ sake how does this make her a slut. Just because it was on tape it doesn’t make it okay to call her a whore. Many people make sex tapes but not all are leaked. Many people masturbate to porn but won’t complain that the woman is being a whore. Due to the fact Kim has a high-profile people have to make an issue out of it. But was she being a slut though???  Naaaah. She was being intimate with someone she had been with for a while. We all do that and it was just unfortunate that it came out. People continue to call her a whore because she likes to post tasteful nude photographs. I say go on girl you look banging, embrace them curves. Embrace that booty. I don’t care if you think she is fake. A lot of girls now-a-days who have money have had at least one surgical enhancement and that is to help them love their body. You slut shaming them for being comfortable in their own beautiful skin is what is wrong with the world. NOT those images. Do not troll them and put them down to make your self feel better. (I mean if she was a bitch to you and there is obvious beef you can troll each other but not on social media because that is next level rude).

 

giphy (6).gif

 

At the end of the day, any woman who posts what is seen as a ‘revealing’ image of them self is just them expressing that they love their body. There is nothing wrong with that. If they worked hard for them abs or love being curvy or are in love with how the doctor made their booty look then they deserve to show it off, just like men like to show off their muscles and v-lines. Showing ones love for their own body creates a positive effect on teenagers. I’m not saying 14 year olds should post revealing images because they are still jail-bait but they deserve to see what real women’s bodies look like in different shapes and sizes to know that how their body looks is natural.

 

Women should not be put down and criticised for having fun and loving who they are. Men could do the exact same as a woman and no one would judge but because women are seen more as a sexual object than men, we are made to think we are the spawn of the satan and that we don’t deserve happiness. Women sexualise men, I’m not saying they don’t and I’m not saying men shouldn’t do the same to women. Although, there are strict boundaries which men seem to cross. No I don’t want you staring at me like I’m a juicy big mac burger – hold the pickles – fresh from the grill. No I don’t want you men honking your horn at me while I mind my own business on my way to work, embarrassing me. What do you think you’re going to get from this? A romantic walk through the park and then slam dunk me later? Not a chance.

slut-shaming-cant-win

Society makes being a woman seem hard. It should be easy-going and pleasant.

 

It is hard being a woman, trust me I know. There are already so many expectations for us but as years have gone on, it has gotten a lot easier for women to become an equal part of society and hopefully people will start to realise how to treat each other that isn’t in a demoralising way. I know this post won’t change anything in the world. These are just my views. If that girl you know wants to have a lot of sex and isn’t hurting anyone then is there really any need for you to comment on her sexual activities? Is it even your business? If not then don’t make it either. Respect and love your body. Support other girls for looking bomb as fuck, there is no need to be a snide. Share that glittery love. Avoid slut shaming. Focus on your own sex life and only share what you are comfortable with sharing.

 

o-REVOLVING-HEARTS-570
sparkling-heart.jpg
o-REVOLVING-HEARTS-570

 

Other ways to become a slut:

 

Send
nudes to your boyfriend who leaks that image.

 

Send
nudes to someone who isn’t your boyfriend who then leaks that image.

 

Kiss
a boy in a night club.

 

Tell
a boy you don’t want to sleep with them. (I refused to kiss a boy once and he pushed me away calling me a ‘dirty little slut’ oh you charmer.)

 

Get
pregnant.

 

Hang
out with lots of boys.

 

Talk
about sex publicly. (If you are comfortable with your sexuality and want to share this then fine. If you see sex as a private thing then fine. Don’t judge someone for sharing their sex life just like you wouldn’t want to be branded a prude for keeping yours secret.)

 

Write
a blog post about sluts.

 

Advertisements

6 Comments

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s