The relationship game is a pretty fucked up game. All they seem to do is cause me mega stress…


We all go through life meeting various men and women and we end up connecting well with some of them. Some more than others as we end up liking them. Well I don’t want to catch feelings any more. I reject the psycho life and embrace the zen life. Recently I have been able to control those emotional vibes so I end up coming across as a heartless bugger. This phase happened after the termination of my first ever relationship. That year I had the best summer and I intend to do the same this summer. If I speak to a guy from now on, its with the intention to have a laugh and just communicate in a way you can’t have in a relationship. It’s less complicated, you get to do whatever and you won’t ever feel lonely. Of course there needs to be some boundaries. You and the piece of meat need to go in knowing that this is all about two people, with similar interests wanting to have a ‘fling.’ It is basically like having a Cadbury’s crème egg fling. You only have them around for a bit as you sit in bed all cold and then you move on to the walks on the beach with an ice-cream cone. Or no ice-cream cone if you don’t want one.

ice cream

I am not about the whole one night stand thing. This is why I find my techniques useful because I like getting attention off of someone and those added benefits without getting attached. Flings can last however long you want and you don’t necessarily have to sleep with them. It is just nice having someone there for you who is a little more than a friend but knowing no one will get hurt. People might say if you don’t want to catch feelings then don’t entertain another person who is trying it on with you. WRONG. It is all about that strong-minded attitude. Tell your self you want fun and not to be dragged 6 feet under by a shit relationship. Tell your self you just want something refreshing with someone you can just chill with now and then. I will sit and think about how I want a relationship and then realise that I am just being a lonely twat because I will have the best summer single. It could be assumed that I am staying single to be a slag this summer. Wrong. I just need to stay focused and be selfish. If I wanted to be a slag then I would but nah I am basically a virgin again, waiting for someone who I can actually be arsed with to water my flower. If you catch yourself slipping, think about all the bad things past relationships brought and what positive things just chilling with someone can bring. I think about how psycho past relationships made me and how I almost slaughtered a thousand dirty hoes and made them into food not even seagulls would touch. Remember: Flirt, Fun, Free.

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Feelings will start to develop if you spend way too much time together. I say bun that. What are you, married? No. Do not even think about telling them you miss them because you don’t. You just miss a bit of company. Telling the person you just want to chill with that you miss them will either push them away so far you won’t see them again (might not always be a bad thing) or encourage a relationship and that is NOT what you want. The more time you spend together, the more likely one of you will catch feelings causing a volcano to erupt. It could get messy.

I like to focus on their flaws. Yeah I will connect with the guy at first but after speaking for so long you don’t want to constantly see them as the most god-like, amazing guy. I focus on their flaws to prevent me from tripping into their muscular arms and catching that love bug. That’s right boys, us ladies pick out the smallest things wrong with you and eventually it puts us off you. It doesn’t mean we think you are an awful person, just not one who deserves our feelings. Sorry.

Don’t sack off every boy who comes along just for this one guy. Chances are he is probably speaking to other girls and that is fine because you aren’t a ‘thing.’ You can’t be committed to the one guy because that is another way to fall deep. I’m usually a one man guy which is probably why I turn psycho. All I know is speaking to the one guy and being loyal. Short periods of flings mean you do not have to be loyal. Keep your options available.

Viewing the other as a friend is one way to keep it simple. Few benefits come from this too. The company, sex and after it fizzles out you might even become good friends. There is no need for anything to become hassle or complicated. You both need to remember why you are in this. I speak to boys I don’t want strong attachments with like I am just one of the boys. I don’t compliment them in a gooey way, I take the piss out of them and they take the piss out of me. This is not me friend zoning them. Just me showing them that I’m not taking anything to heart, especially them. I would say I am an easy-going person now. My friends are shocked at how chilled I have become and that is a satisfying ring to my ears. ‘Did you not kick off that he liked her picture or kick off that he has been ignoring you or kill him for posting a picture with another girl?’ No duhhhh, he is not my boyfriend. I like the new Sav. My mind feels 10 times healthier.


I am not saying that you should avoid catching feelings. If you seriously know that all you want is some fun then go ahead, what is stopping you. Not those feelings that’s for sure. No I’m not looking for sex with random lads I’m not into that sort of thing. I suppose it’s more of a friendship where we can laugh and see where things go. But when you do want to settle down, it might come naturally who knows, just allow it to happen. Make sure you are 100% clear on what you want. I do want a relationship eventually but I am making this year about me. Sun, booze, partying and friends.



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