How to..AVOID THE FRIEND ZONE

A complex situation that anyone can go through is having romantic attractions or feelings towards someone but that someone only sees you as a good friend. Have you ever told someone you like them and they reply ‘I like you too… as a friend’? She burps in front of you and calls you ‘dude’? You just got FRIEND ZONED. Usually it is the guy who seems to get into this zone and I can only speak from a girls point of view as to why you boys get there. If you’re a guy and are still reading this, then you probably want to know how to avoid this danger zone. If you’re a girl and still reading this, then you will probably agree.

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Most guys assume that they were put in their idea of hell because they were too nice. TOO NICE? What even is that!!! Girls do not want some complete arse as a boyfriend. We like nice. However, there is a fine line between being too nice and being too forward. We just started speaking, do not start throwing in compliments on how we look. Its too much too soon and it’s just plain pathetic. I like banter. Be funny not soppy. Tell me I’m ugly so I can tell you how much you remind me of a squashed potato smiley face. Its fun, it’s flirty and not at all creepy. Don’t be all emotional too soon because we haven’t worked out what type of person you are. Popping up saying ‘hey beautiful what are you doing? 🙂 xx’ for the first time literally screams AVOID because it’s too much and is something a few girls probably gets. We all know a guy who is always messaging girls ‘hey’ a few weeks in between and us girls talk, stupid. We know you messaged our friends similar stuff and that is how you get ignored. If you try too hard you will just flop. Find some common grounds between you and your crush which will help make the ride smooth. Don’t be too blunt because she could fancy you back and you are showing signals that you are not interested causing either the ‘you know what zone’ or her getting bored and leaving.

Being nice just means beginning as friends and turning it flirty. That zone starts to gloom over as soon as it hits the ‘speaking for a while’ mark and you haven’t yet made your intentions clear. This is an obvious one really.. If you don’t indicate that you would like to step things up a notch then how are we to know? Once the ‘get to know each other stage’ passes then it becomes the perfect time to whack out the emotions and let her know where your warm heart lies. I’m bad at this to be fair, I struggle telling people my emotions and hope people can see how I feel through my actions. If a boy did this to me I would go level 100 nuts. JUST TELL ME. What is there to lose by telling a girl you like her? Yeah it may be embarrassing if she indicates she just ‘wants to be friends’ but at least you can stop pining over someone who will never be yours and go find that lucky bugger who does want you. Don’t be afraid of the rejection. Yes it hurts being knocked back after being friends for a while. Either way you win as you have the opportunity to stop wasting your time.

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Don’t try too hard. If she doesn’t know your intentions but you are doing boyfriend type things for her and the mindless texting has been going on for months then hi, you’re in the friend zone. Unfortunately, there are some sickos out there who lap up as much attention as possible from  boys. They will notice you are doing things only a boyfriend would do before you have even stated you want something serious. She tells herself ‘it’s fine he doesn’t like me, this isn’t leading him on’ just to make herself feel better and to keep rinsing the poor sod for all she can. Girls can be sneaky, I admit it, we all are. She will give you just enough reinforcement to ensure you are available and supportive to her but she will masterfully avoid sending any indications that she is interested romantically. It’s cruel because she is interested in you and wants you to stick around but she’s just not interested in dating you. It is not a friendship or a romantic relationship if it is all one-sided. If you are give, give, giving and she is not returning the favours then she doesn’t respect you. Friendships and romance or possible romance will be obvious if she does the same things for you. You are dead in the water if this is what is happening. Try not to be a wetty and do everything she asks. Stand your ground but make a joke of it. Don’t run around after her like a lap dog. That is how you begin to look pathetic. If you tell her ‘no’ to one of her princess demands and she doesn’t like it and doesn’t speak to you again, you had a sweet escape.

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If she has just got out of a relationship and talks to you about her ex, looking for comfort and support, then it’s still raw to her and you are the friend she is looking up to for advice. Sorry but you’re in the wrong zone. If she wants to seek advice and comfort then she runs to her friends. If you find yourself telling her he is a dick and she can do better but you’re secretly hinting that your the someone better, then she only sees you as a friend. She is clearly dealing with her own stuff and it’s currently not about you. Missing an ex is probably not the only thing she has to deal with and just doesn’t have time to seek any type of romance. You probably are not the only one in the friend zone and possibly does this to everyone. The focus is on herself and you cannot get mad at her for that. Relationships are hard, trust me, and realising you’re not ready for one isn’t a bad thing.

Another reason you have been zoned could be because she actually wants to just get to know you as a friend. Many girls aren’t comfortable seeing guys whom they wouldn’t otherwise be friends with. In my experience  I prefer getting to know a guy as a friend to see if we are compatible and if there is any connection romantically. I see this more as the comfort zone, not the friend zone. Be patient and let me work out the type of guy you are. Show me you are funny and can take the piss out of me without saying straight after ‘joking don’t cry.’ YAWN.

If you find that none of these explanation as to why you’re in the friend zone then she probably genuinely just wants to be friends. She must see more of a friendship relationship than a relationship, relationship. She should let you know that she does not want to trade your friendship for a romance if she can’t see one working out. A good step to a good friendship is honesty, so if she is straight up with you then you could have a good friendship with her. Obviously in regards to the fact you can get over the fact you were shot down…

 

 

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