How to/not to…DO A YEAR

Okay, the year 2015 has been crazy. According to my calculations, the year had been both crackers and just plain shite. I dumped someone, my parents split up, I got a job within retail, I got seriously drunk on numerous occasions and made some cracking memories, I got kicked out of my house, I moved to Cardiff, I got dumped for the first time in my life and now it’s 2016 and I spent NYE in bed eating chinese food and spent new years day at work.

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I began last year an absolute wreck. However, I am proud to say I’m entering the new year much stronger and happier. No it’s not the ‘new year new me’ bollocks. Every person is the same they just grow. Like me. I have become a forgiving person. I forgave my ex recently who I hadn’t spoken to since June and now we are friends, I forgave family members for doing and saying unforgivable things, but most importantly I forgave myself. I do not usually make ‘new year resolutions’ but I do have a few ideas to keep myself occupied.

Holiday. Celebrate. 2015 held no holidays for me. This year I have many holiday destinations I want to go to and make my mark. The last holiday I went on was with my sodding ex so I’m feeling a girls holiday. Definitely no where tacky where everyone leaves with gonorrhoea coming out their ears, boys being begs and pests and having a trip to a dodgy hospital that left them worse than before. America. Italy. Australia.Amsterdam. Thailand. I need to go to one or two of these exquisite places this year with my girls.

20. I’m only bloody 20 this year. I feel like I haven’t done enough things. What if I die? Will I die happy knowing I have never been ice-skating, never eaten frogs legs or snails in France, or that I have never owned a pair of loubs? No. I won’t. It’s time to invest in doing things out of my comfort zone, treating myself to one or two luxuries.But first I need to get out of this 3k debt…

Fine line between love and hate. It’s an undeniable statement. The amount of people I loved last year, I ended up hating at some point. Friends, family, ex’s. I think it’s because you get so close and then get hurt and wonder why someone who supposedly cares for you would do such preposterous things. Luckily for me I am able to put those things behind me and have learnt to forgive. My dad and I never got along. Haven’t for years. He is just a twat and we would go months without talking. However, I have somehow managed to think in a negative way which causes a positive output. ‘What if they were to die right now? Would I be happy with how things were left?’ Dark, I know, but it works because it involves me saying how I feel, finding a solution and working things out. Call me a therapist.

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I want to remember as much of 2016 as I can, which means chilling with the alcohol. I drank way too much in the period of April to now. I was a proper town head. I feel like I should make more sentimental memories rather than blurred, dark, dizzy memories. I’m still going to be out every week just maybe cut it down to say, once or twice a week… Can’t get rid of that side of me, it’s built in, never going.

So happy new year! But don’t be a wetty and say you’re a new version of you. It’s boring and quite frankly fiction. Just be the same you just improve your fine self.

 

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