Ok so I’m sodding single again. Boooo. But I gotta get on with it cause turns out he was a bit of an A hole (during the whole breakup I discovered) and I need to love myself.
Some people love single life but no, not me. I’m no longer getting that love and attention I require so dearly. Some people go on an absolute mad one when they become single. Going out all the time, constantly drunk, bucking every Tom, Dick and Harry in sight. I am constantly drunk, in or out of a relationship, it does not matter. I like to have fun, I am a student and I think I may have a drinking problem..
This is me telling you how I am going to overcome this vile thing called heartbreak. I have never been dumped, believe it or not. But this time round I got a big fat dumping. Yes, all sob for me. So how do I deal with this? Fuck knows.So here is me trying.
Screw you. My last ex and I spoke not long after I broke up with another. Not a rebound thing because I already had that with someone else. With my ex it was literally straight up I like you and I have to be with you. It’s hard having no one now but I do not want a rebound or to meet someone new. One night stands. Dating people to just find out they’re a fuck boy. None of that is for me. Especially now. I am a very needy person. Feed me, love me, spoon me, tickle my hair. I want it all! You don’t get any of that from sleeping around with strangers, so why should I? It would honestly make me feel even worse about myself. This time around, I want to focus on me. I need time to breathe, let the dirty dust settle before I even consider getting back in the game.
You know what’s fun? Alcohol. Everyone who knows me, knows I like to drink. Maybe a little too much. So what? It’s fun waking up, bruised like a peach, blissfully unaware of what you was saying to that random guy at the bar until you get that message saying:
‘woah you were so drunk last night can’t believe what you were saying’
Yep. It has happened to us all. Brb while I cringe at all the word vomit I have unleashed.
Luckily for my friends, I am not a crier when drunk. I’m the kind of girl who pees themselves, stuffs their face with McDonald’s, has food fights and then wakes up as a pizza. I am not condoling that drink solves everything, but it does take my mind off the crap. My inebriated antics challenge some people, mainly boys and it basically puts them off me. GOOD. So yeah I am going to continue getting shit faced.
It’s all about the confidence. Okay so being dumped left me with 0 confidence. I do not trust as it is, insecurities and all that jazz. So I was already feeling pretty low in the relationship, no matter how many times he tried to make me feel better. Being dumped was really the umbrella on top of the cocktail… I had to make myself feel better. I burnt a hole in my bank and became a selfie whore. I needed to feel sassy. I want people to say nice things to me. Yeah I told you I am needy. Being confident just shows people I’m not as broken as they may think and it honestly helps me. It’s a reward for overcoming such an annoying obstacle in my life.
Me, Me, Me. It’s all about me!
It is time to become a better version of me. I have covered the sassy queen bee side now it’s all about the mind. I want only positive thoughts to enter my mind. I have taken on board the whole ‘forgive and forget’ approach and it’s not as hard as I thought. Made friends with another ex after months of hatred, not holding grudges with anyone and just being a sweetheart to every prick that I come across. Being nice to the enemy only makes them more angry. Yay I win.
Zen. Peace. Feminism. I’m all for it at the moment. It gets lonely sometimes but having a hobby distracts me. Plus it is meditation and life focuses which is healthy. Not so much intoxicating myself though…
One day someone right for me, hopefully at the right time for once as its always been the wrong time (I blame the uniLAD culture for some breakups), will come along. Hopefully not anytime soon because I’m currently making the world revolve around me and I’m not even sorry..