How not to… DO A BREAKUP

Oh breakups. How you sting. Even the ones that remain perfectly amicable hurt. Mourning the end of any relationship takes a period of time to get over (and a lot of tears).

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At the end of the day, we all care. We all have feelings and we hate the thought of being replaced. So DO NOT PRETEND YOU’RE FINE. Who the hell you tryna kid? Of course you care. Cry. Watch romantically morbid films. Eat a shit tonne of ice cream. Grieve that relationship early else a few weeks later it is going to hit you harder than a punch from Deontay Wilder. I always let pride get in the way of being real. Then BAM im drunk in the corner of the club crying in to a jug of alcohol with my bffl telling me to pull myself together. So take some time out to reflect and be angry, hurt and humiliated because it is okay to be all those! Just do not let your self grow numb.

Is it even possible to be friends with an ex? Possibly. But DO NOT TRY TO BE FRIENDS WITH THEM ASAP. Feelings don’t just vanish like Dynamo. Until you’re okay with them dating someone new and vice versa, you are not ready to be pals!!! You both need space to figure out how to go about this whole new life because honestly it does take a lot of adjusting. No more cuddles, no more cute texts, no more sex! A piece of your life has been removed and you need to learn to live with out them and right now you do not need a friend who is exactly the person who broke your heart.

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I tried being friends with an ex which meant we still spoke now and then. My family life was at rock bottom and my ex knew the ins and outs so it was easy for me to still turn to him for advice and he was willing to give me that. Still speaking meant he was still somehow apart of my life just without the extra benefits which is why it made it harder seeing him flirting with a girl on a night out turning me in to psycho Sav as I knew I wasn’t getting that side of him any more. Jealously is the ugliest trait.

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Social media does need to sod off. Stalking has become a serious habit of mine and many people I know. Hanging around on an ex’s facebook page to see what they have been up to and who they have recently made friends with on facebook. Checking who has liked their pictures to come to the conclusion that they must be talking. That’s just crazy. there are 2 things when it comes to social media and breakups.

1. DO NOT POST ABOUT THE BREAKUP DRAMA. This involves way to many irrelevant people who try to interject their views. Remember there are always two sides to a breakup so things may be twisted.

2. DO NOT FACEBOOK STALK. Just ‘defriend’ or block them for a while. This prevents you from ending up on some girls facebook who recently became friends with your ex and you messaging your ex ‘WHO THE FUCK IS BECKY???’ Yeah that happened.

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DO NOT SLEEP WITH AN EX. Okay so sleeping with an ex may be an easy path to release that sexual frustration that has been burning up inside of you after realising you can no longer have sex 6 times a week but it just causes confusion and havoc. Let the break be clean.

Sexing with an ex means one of you will think things are starting up again. When I slept with my ex, I purely did it for satisfactory needs. After he left I received texts saying he would be over in the week with a food and movies. So yeah I had to basically break up with him again. Some people sleep with their ex to prevent the risk of increasing their already high number of sex partners, some do it because they are comfortable. Well you are not in that routine any more. You will find some one who you can make a new routine with. Just don’t go back to the bed of an ex. REGRETS.

Once you get over the termination of the relationship, you may find yourself hating on the idea of love and relationships. Seeing a couple all loved up makes you feel like Satan because you just want them to know that love is not real. However, you are the one not being real. DO NOT GIVE UP HOPE. Just because your ex made you feel like nothing does not mean every guy will do this to you. Of course it could be hard to trust again but you eventually will.

Personally, I am not a romantic. I do not know what love is about and I am not really a soppy person. I’m blunt at times but I do have my moments that show i care. I guess I am just damaged. I respect that there are hopeless romantics out there who see that love is not a one-shot experience. You just have not found the one.

Go find your Nemo. 

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